Stan the Man

"Feed your faith, starve your doubt."

Who's Stan you may ask? Here are a quick few videos and articles (you don't have to look at all, they're probably repetitive) that you can skim through before I continue.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/LX-Bus-Driver/269293199803267?sk=wall

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ligx_tPxvOU

http://www.dailytargum.com/news/bus-driver-offers-inspiration-ideas-to-student-riders/article_5be8f9ac-4d7b-11e1-b714-0019bb30f31a.html

http://m.dailytargum.com/mobile/news/bus-driver-offers-inspiration-ideas-to-student-riders/article_5be8f9ac-4d7b-11e1-b714-0019bb30f31a.html

Stan, as you saw from the above articles and videos, is a one of the many bus drivers at Rutgers University in New Brunswick. He drives the LX, which takes students from College Avenue Campus to Livingston Campus. This means that students are on the bus with Stan for approximately 10-25 minutes, depending on traffic and the number of students. Well, students spend a lot of times on buses at Rutgers...but there's a reason why everyone hopes to catch one of Stan's buses!

Think about this. Imagine you woke up at 7 to get to class on another campus. You've been class-hopping all day, you barely had time to eat, and you have to prepare for a presentation that's due tomorrow. And then you walk onto a bus and are greeted by a friendly, smiling face! He tells you you're beautiful, and he says that he has faith on you. During the 10-25 minute drive, he encourages you and promises that everything happens for a reason. He does everything he can to make sure that you leave happier, that you are extremely motivated to do more work for a better life. And then, you step off of the bus as he say to have a wonderful day. More likely than not, you do have a better day after that because he is just that amazing!

Why am I sharing this with you? For one, I want to look back at this one day and remember how inspirational he was. But more importantly, I want to show you how easy it is to make someone's day better! Share a quote, tell a motivating story, hug someone, etc. There are so many things you can do to make someone smile in hopes of making their day better and passing on that goodness! (Kind of similar to what we talked about with National Suicide Prevention!)

Anyway, I hope that Stan made your day as well! There are many things that I miss about Rutgers and he is definitely one of them.

So long. <3 

Am I Wrong?

"I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut. My weakness is that I care too much."

If you're on my Mom's side of the family, you know me as this person that doesn't care at all. I put on this act that convinces people that I'm pretty much heartless. You know that if you get on my bad side once, you'll never be able to get back on my good side. But those that are absolutely closest to me really know what my deal is. 

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- 

Okayyy so I'm clearly having a very difficult time writing this post but I'm going to just jot my notes and publish it, thus forcing me to eventually come back and rewrite it. It's about being happy...how can we REALLY be happy? So take my Mom. She tells me that I can't say certain things to people because it's rude and it'll reflect badly upon my parents. She says we can't be happy unless we're nice to other people. She says that we can't talk about others behind their backs because it's rude. Well, Mom...your Mom is one of the nicest people I've ever met. She doesn't talk about others behind their backs. She's really polite to everyone she meets. Yet she's one of the unhappiest people I've ever met. And you're telling me to follow that example? And for what?! To make others happy? But WHY? This is MY life. I have once chance to live it. (Forget about theories on rebirth and all of that because we don't even remember such things so at the moment that doesn't count.) 

Why am I going to shut my mouth when there are feelings inside of me that make my blood boil with anger...when I could just say what's on my mind, regardless of how it'll make the other person feel?

Why am I going to "smile" around people that I very much dislike...when I can just walk away?

Why can't I just live my life? Why can't people just let me be? I'll leave them alone - trust me on that one. I just don't get it. 

I understand that I recently said we are all a team...and I do believe that. But I don't think it's healthy for anyone to have negative feelings towards another person and have to suppress those thoughts. Unless there is a chance that saying something truthful and possibly hurtful to a person will have an extremely negative consequence (suicide, depression, etc.), then it needs to be brought out to the table.

Now I'm not saying this all has to be done so that we end up having no family and friends that care about us...but I'm saying we have to be honest with each other to hopefully fix our issues with each other and really be friends, rather than have all of these fake relationships. To be completely honest, I would rather have 1 great friend than 1 million "fake" friends. 

Why lie when we can tell the truth? What kind of an example are we setting for the next generation when we smile through a family dinner and then complain about it for the next few months? What's the point? 

Again: what's the point? What's the point if we aren't happy? What's the point if we aren't smiling? What's the point if we aren't surrounded by people that TRULY love us? 

Why be around someone that doesn't really care about you? Oh gosh how I wish I could just blurt out so many examples on this but I don't know who will be reading this. (Seriously, if you ask me, I'll explain what I mean.) 

There are so many days like today where I simply want to pack up and leave. I want to take a few belongings and just start all over again. This time around, I want to pick and choose who I build relationships with and see how that works out. I want to filter out the negative people in my life, and forget about the bad relationships I've had in my life.

But obviously I would never, ever be able to do such a thing because of the people that I absolutely love with all of my heart. As many people as I dislike, there are many more that I love. They care for me, support me, listen to me, want the absolute best for me...overall, they're just GREAT.

To be completely honest, this list was a lot longer at one point in my life. But slowly, people just kept screwing me over. They constantly broke me heart. Gave them all more than once chance...but they just couldn't stop hurting me. And with that, I stopped caring. With that, people pointed fingers at me...blaming it on me simply because I was more expressive about my thoughts. (Childish as this comment may seem: that's not fair!) But I was so heartbroken that I didn't care...I let them point their fingers at me. I let them say that it was my fault. I guess I didn't realize that it would stick around forever. 

But hey, most of the time I'm totally okay with it. Yes, it hurts that people don't take out time to hear my side anymore...but if they don't want to hear me out, then that's their loss-not mine. 

After all, I'm just a girl trying to live her life and be happy. I'm learning to appreciate the good in my life, rather than worry about the bad. It's hard a lot of times, but who said it was supposed to be easy?  

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- 

This is by far the choppiest I've ever written...but it is extremely difficult properly writing about feelings when I'm so angry and upset. But at least my thoughts are out there and I can eventually (maybe, probably not) come back and rewrite them!

So long <3 

National Suicide Prevention Month

"Suicide Prevention is Everyone's Business."

So I missed National Suicide Prevention Month (it was in September) but I've been thinking a lot about it and wanted to share some of my thoughts. Well first of all, let me say that I was inspired to write this post by a dear friend of mine...one of my committed readers and an intelligent young woman. Don't be surprised if I quote her later in this post!

To start off, let me just say that my thoughts are all over the place because two family members have committed suicide, and I still get extremely upset thinking about it. There are times when I'm really angry at them for not seeking helping. I blame them for making everyone else suffer. After all, they're gone now, which leaves the rest of us heartbroken. But then there are other times when I get angry at everyone else...how could they not see there was a problem? Why didn't they reach out to help them through it? It just doesn't make sense.

And I know that no matter how often I think about everything, one thing hits me: they aren't coming back. I can't go back in time and change anything-on their end or on our end. So now what?

Well, as promised earlier, here's something my friend said to me while expressing her thoughts: "I was just thinking about tragic it is that so many young people consider suicide as an escape from all the problems they have and that they could all easily be avoidable if others were willing to listen or help out." As much as I don't believe that we can avoid every single tragedy, I do think that we can better the situation.

Here's a fact that I find mind-boggling: In 2010, there were on average 105.1 suicides per day. PER DAY. Can you imagine that? That's one medium-sized lecture hall full of people gone in ONE day. Just think about that for a moment. That's 1/6 of my high school graduating class just gone in ONE day. In six days, we'd all be gone. That's a ridiculously high number! What are we doing about that? Most of us are doing nothing. Whether we're on one end as people considering suicide or we're on the other end as friends and family who could be making a difference, most of us are doing nothing. We are simply letting life play itself out because we believe that we have absolutely no control over such statistics.

Well, that's not true. We can make a difference. There are so many things we can do, from becoming heavily involved with suicide prevention hotlines or simply making a stranger smile and perhaps making that person's day. Here are some ideas that I found online and have read about in the past many years. Some are simple, and some are not. You decide what you want to do, and you pass this on to other people so that we can continue making an even bigger difference.

• Smile at everyone you see no matter how you're feeling.
• Hold a door open for someone.
• Pay for someone's bill at a restaurant and leave a note saying "pay it forward". Who knows who else will continue it.
• Thank someone for doing their job (doctor, police officer, etc.).
• Volunteer (anywhere). Need some ideas? http://www.volunteermatch.org
• Hug people.
• Tell people you love that you love them. 
• Communicate with people. 
• Keep in touch with those that matter.

Anything more serious - 

• Listen to people. If you really think someone is suicidal, use resources such as http://www.helpguide.org/mental/suicide_prevention.htm
• Give people a second chance. 
• Talk to someone if you are feeling depressed.
• Don't be afraid to ask for help.
• Don't worry about others judging you.
• Call a suicide prevention hotline at 1-800-273-8255. 
• Work for a suicide prevention hotline.
• Urge people to seek professional help.

Overall, there are so many things you can do. Ask others and use the internet as a resource, but don't just sit around and do nothing.

A lot of you are probably asking why it's our responsibility to save someone else's life when that person has family, friends, neighbors, teachers and others that should be stepping in. And you're right. But why not make a difference when you can do so unknowingly? Here's one of my absolute favorite stories that I quote ALL of the time (and have probably blogged about as well). Since you've come this far, please read this story: http://www.snopes.com/glurge/kyle.asp

I have one more reason as to why we should all care. I'm sure most of you have watched Kid President's inspiring video about getting up and making a difference. Well there's one part that really got to me. In the beginning, he says: "If life is a game, aren't we all on the same team? I mean, really, right? I'm on your team. You're on my team."[Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=l-gQLqv9f4o#!] So if we're all on the same team, why wouldn't we help each other out? Let's start now...let's continue on forever. Who knows what difference we could make!

So long. <3

Linsanity

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."

I am aware of the fact that a few of you dislike Jeremy Lin, but this article from the New York Times is worth skimming through! They [NY Times] pretty much implied that if we skim through this or apply these principles before starting our week (every Sunday night or Monday morning), then we will see ourselves in a better place! They may not be that wrong! 

1. Believe in yourself when no one else does. Lin’s only the 4th graduate from Harvard to make it to the NBA.  He’s also one of only a handful of Asian-Americans to make it. He was sent by the Knicks to play for their D-League team 3 weeks ago in Erie, PA.  He’d already been cut by two other NBA teams before joining the Knicks this year.  You’ve got to believe in yourself, even when no one else does.

2. Seize the opportunity when it comes up. Lin got to start for the Knicks because they had to start him.  They had too many injuries.  Baron Davis was gone.  The other point guards were out.  Carmelo Anthony was injured.  Amare Stoudemire had to leave the team because of a family death.  Lin could have squandered the opportunity and we would have never have noticed.  But he made the most of it.  You never know when opportunities are going to arise in life.  Often, they’re when you least expect them.  Make the most of them. Don’t fritter them away.

3. Your family will always be there for you, so be there for them. It wasn’t until a few days ago that Lin got his contract guaranteed by the Knicks for the rest of the season.  Before that, he could have been cut at any time.  He had to sleep on his brother’s couch on the Lower East Side to get by.  His family always believed in him and picked him up when he could have gotten down on himself.  That made him continue to believe.  If you want your family to believe in you like that, you’ve got to be there for them too when they need it.

4. Find the system that works for your style. Lin isn’t Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant.  He’s not a pure scorer.  He’s a passer and distributor – who can also score very well.  It didn’t work for him in Golden State or Houston – where he was before landing at the Knicks.  But Mike D’Antoni’s system at the Knicks has been perfect for him to show off his strengths.  You’ve got to do your best to understand what your strengths are and then ensure that you’re in a system (a job or organization or industry) that is a good fit for those strengths.  Otherwise, people overlook the talents you bring to the table.

5. Don’t overlook talent that might exist around you today on your team. You probably manage people at your own company today.  Are you sure you don’t have a Jeremy Lin living among you now?  How do you know that “Mike” couldn’t do amazing things if you gave him a new project to run with?  How do you know “Sarah” isn’t the right person to take the open job in London that you’ve been talking over with your colleagues?  We put people around us in boxes.  He’s from Harvard.  He’s Asian-American.  Not sure he can play.  How many assumptions have you made about talent around you?  Don’t be like the General Managers in Golden State and Houston, and let talent slip through your fingers.  With all their money, scouts, and testing, they didn’t have a clue what they had in their hands.  Do you know what your people (or even yourself) is really capable of?  Take off the blinders of assumptions you wear when you look at the world.

6. People will love you for being an original, not trying to be someone else. You’ve got to be you.  You can’t be some 2nd rate copy of Michael Jordan.  There will never be another Michael Jordan.  Just be Jeremy Lin — yourself.  Whatever that is.  That doesn’t mean you don’t work hard — it just means you find what you’re good at and do it.  Fans will love you for being you, just like they love Jeremy Lin. 

7. Stay humble. If you one day are lucky enough to have newspapers want to put you on the cover in order to sell more, don’t let it get to your head.  It’s been remarkable watching how humble Lin remains through all this media frenzy.  It makes his teammates and fans love him that much more.

8. When you make others around you look good, they will love you forever. I didn’t know how good Tyson Chandler was, until I saw him playing with Jeremy Lin.  Lin has set Chandler up many times over the last week for easy dunks because he drew the defense and then passed the ball.  That’s partly why the Knicks are playing so well.  They are all working harder to share the ball with others.  And it’s beautiful to watch.  And when the media swarms Lin, he tells them how good his teammates are.  Do the same with your peers and reports.

9. Never forget about the importance of luck or fate in life. Some people believe in God, some in destiny, some in luck.  Whatever you believe in, be grateful for it.

10. Work your butt off. Lin couldn’t have seized his opportunity if he hadn’t worked like crazy for years perfecting his skills.  There are no short cuts to hard work.  Success is a by product of that.  If you’ve got a Tiger Mom who’s always pushed you to work hard, great.  If not, let your conscience be your own Tiger Mom!  Get up early, stay up late.  Nobody gave Lin any free passes. Why should you get any?  You can only control what you control and that means you’ve got to work harder than anyone else you know.

I hope the Lin-sanity continues.  And I hope we all can apply these lessons to our own work and family life.

All we do is Lin, Lin, Lin! =) 

So long <3 

Untitled

"The more and more I spend time with you, the more and more I realize I am doing the one thing I told myself I would never do again...Fall in love."

*** 

First,

I disliked you
Was annoyed by you
Thought you were rude
Until I got to know you

Then?

I liked talking to you
Liked seeing you
But when it came time to say good-bye
I had no problem walking away

Now?

I miss you
I want to see you
Want to laugh with you
Need to hear your voice

Why?

I've fallen
Fallen faster than before
Harder than I'd like to
I'm unstoppable

What?!

Yes, that's right
It's not what I wanted
Not what I expected
But I can't help it.

Your smile
Your laugh
Your voice
I miss it all.
 

I say I'm okay 

But that's a lie

I say I don't want you 

But that's not true.

Now,

I miss you.
I want to see you.
Want to laugh with you.
Need to hear your voice.

No more good-byes.  
Please, no more good-byes. 


***


So long <3 

God

I might have shared this story earlier, but I'm too lazy to go through all of my posts and find out so I'll just re-post it. This is one of my most favorite poems! I have a poster of it, and love reading it again and again. I would love to cite it but I don't know where it originally came from...but mad props to whoever wrote it. Enjoy! 


***

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along
the beach with god.

Across the dark sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed
two sets of footprints in the sand,
one beloning to him and the other to god.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the
very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This bothered him and he questioned god about it.

"God, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life there is
only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you most
you would leave me."

God replied "My precious, precious child,
I love you and would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffereing,
when you see only one set of footprints in the sand,
it was then that I carried you."

***

Don't forget Him, ever. (Or whatever force you believe in.)


So long <3

[Positive] Change is Good

"You don't have to be satisfied with America as you find it. You can change it. I didn't like the way I found America some sixty years ago, and I've been trying to change it ever since."

Upton Sinclair said to above many years ago, but I think it should still apply today. For those of us whose parents came from another country hoping for a better future for us in America (you know, with the American Dream and all), did they find exactly what they were looking for? From personal experience, I'll go on to say no...not really. Yes, we do have "more opportunities" but what are we missing here that could make our country even better? A lot. To list a few quick things, our education and political system have many flaws. Our idea of "it's who you know, not what you know" is definitely an issue. The apparent racism and discrimination that still exists today is an issue. Gosh, there are so many things that I'm sure you're all thinking of right now, whether it be things you see at work, in your schools, in your towns, etc.

But what exactly are you doing to change it? Sitting around and complaining won't get us anywhere, trust me, there's no way. For example, our local school district just spent $25,000 per car for security guards, when they already had functioning cars to go around in. Unfortunately, they don't spend any money on supplies that students might actually benefit from. Although many people are frustrated, I am positive that most of them are not doing anything about it. To change things, my friends and I are going to file complaints and go to board of education hearings to state our opinion. After all, it's our money, our students, our future...shouldn't be we have a say?

I gotta get back to my research :) but on this Saturday afternoon, I just wanted to say...get off of your lazy butts and make a difference. Together, we can change our country and really make it the land where dreams come true.

So long <3