Stan the Man

"Feed your faith, starve your doubt."

Who's Stan you may ask? Here are a quick few videos and articles (you don't have to look at all, they're probably repetitive) that you can skim through before I continue.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/LX-Bus-Driver/269293199803267?sk=wall

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ligx_tPxvOU

http://www.dailytargum.com/news/bus-driver-offers-inspiration-ideas-to-student-riders/article_5be8f9ac-4d7b-11e1-b714-0019bb30f31a.html

http://m.dailytargum.com/mobile/news/bus-driver-offers-inspiration-ideas-to-student-riders/article_5be8f9ac-4d7b-11e1-b714-0019bb30f31a.html

Stan, as you saw from the above articles and videos, is a one of the many bus drivers at Rutgers University in New Brunswick. He drives the LX, which takes students from College Avenue Campus to Livingston Campus. This means that students are on the bus with Stan for approximately 10-25 minutes, depending on traffic and the number of students. Well, students spend a lot of times on buses at Rutgers...but there's a reason why everyone hopes to catch one of Stan's buses!

Think about this. Imagine you woke up at 7 to get to class on another campus. You've been class-hopping all day, you barely had time to eat, and you have to prepare for a presentation that's due tomorrow. And then you walk onto a bus and are greeted by a friendly, smiling face! He tells you you're beautiful, and he says that he has faith on you. During the 10-25 minute drive, he encourages you and promises that everything happens for a reason. He does everything he can to make sure that you leave happier, that you are extremely motivated to do more work for a better life. And then, you step off of the bus as he say to have a wonderful day. More likely than not, you do have a better day after that because he is just that amazing!

Why am I sharing this with you? For one, I want to look back at this one day and remember how inspirational he was. But more importantly, I want to show you how easy it is to make someone's day better! Share a quote, tell a motivating story, hug someone, etc. There are so many things you can do to make someone smile in hopes of making their day better and passing on that goodness! (Kind of similar to what we talked about with National Suicide Prevention!)

Anyway, I hope that Stan made your day as well! There are many things that I miss about Rutgers and he is definitely one of them.

So long. <3 

Am I Wrong?

"I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut. My weakness is that I care too much."

If you're on my Mom's side of the family, you know me as this person that doesn't care at all. I put on this act that convinces people that I'm pretty much heartless. You know that if you get on my bad side once, you'll never be able to get back on my good side. But those that are absolutely closest to me really know what my deal is. 

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- 

Okayyy so I'm clearly having a very difficult time writing this post but I'm going to just jot my notes and publish it, thus forcing me to eventually come back and rewrite it. It's about being happy...how can we REALLY be happy? So take my Mom. She tells me that I can't say certain things to people because it's rude and it'll reflect badly upon my parents. She says we can't be happy unless we're nice to other people. She says that we can't talk about others behind their backs because it's rude. Well, Mom...your Mom is one of the nicest people I've ever met. She doesn't talk about others behind their backs. She's really polite to everyone she meets. Yet she's one of the unhappiest people I've ever met. And you're telling me to follow that example? And for what?! To make others happy? But WHY? This is MY life. I have once chance to live it. (Forget about theories on rebirth and all of that because we don't even remember such things so at the moment that doesn't count.) 

Why am I going to shut my mouth when there are feelings inside of me that make my blood boil with anger...when I could just say what's on my mind, regardless of how it'll make the other person feel?

Why am I going to "smile" around people that I very much dislike...when I can just walk away?

Why can't I just live my life? Why can't people just let me be? I'll leave them alone - trust me on that one. I just don't get it. 

I understand that I recently said we are all a team...and I do believe that. But I don't think it's healthy for anyone to have negative feelings towards another person and have to suppress those thoughts. Unless there is a chance that saying something truthful and possibly hurtful to a person will have an extremely negative consequence (suicide, depression, etc.), then it needs to be brought out to the table.

Now I'm not saying this all has to be done so that we end up having no family and friends that care about us...but I'm saying we have to be honest with each other to hopefully fix our issues with each other and really be friends, rather than have all of these fake relationships. To be completely honest, I would rather have 1 great friend than 1 million "fake" friends. 

Why lie when we can tell the truth? What kind of an example are we setting for the next generation when we smile through a family dinner and then complain about it for the next few months? What's the point? 

Again: what's the point? What's the point if we aren't happy? What's the point if we aren't smiling? What's the point if we aren't surrounded by people that TRULY love us? 

Why be around someone that doesn't really care about you? Oh gosh how I wish I could just blurt out so many examples on this but I don't know who will be reading this. (Seriously, if you ask me, I'll explain what I mean.) 

There are so many days like today where I simply want to pack up and leave. I want to take a few belongings and just start all over again. This time around, I want to pick and choose who I build relationships with and see how that works out. I want to filter out the negative people in my life, and forget about the bad relationships I've had in my life.

But obviously I would never, ever be able to do such a thing because of the people that I absolutely love with all of my heart. As many people as I dislike, there are many more that I love. They care for me, support me, listen to me, want the absolute best for me...overall, they're just GREAT.

To be completely honest, this list was a lot longer at one point in my life. But slowly, people just kept screwing me over. They constantly broke me heart. Gave them all more than once chance...but they just couldn't stop hurting me. And with that, I stopped caring. With that, people pointed fingers at me...blaming it on me simply because I was more expressive about my thoughts. (Childish as this comment may seem: that's not fair!) But I was so heartbroken that I didn't care...I let them point their fingers at me. I let them say that it was my fault. I guess I didn't realize that it would stick around forever. 

But hey, most of the time I'm totally okay with it. Yes, it hurts that people don't take out time to hear my side anymore...but if they don't want to hear me out, then that's their loss-not mine. 

After all, I'm just a girl trying to live her life and be happy. I'm learning to appreciate the good in my life, rather than worry about the bad. It's hard a lot of times, but who said it was supposed to be easy?  

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- 

This is by far the choppiest I've ever written...but it is extremely difficult properly writing about feelings when I'm so angry and upset. But at least my thoughts are out there and I can eventually (maybe, probably not) come back and rewrite them!

So long <3 

National Suicide Prevention Month

"Suicide Prevention is Everyone's Business."

So I missed National Suicide Prevention Month (it was in September) but I've been thinking a lot about it and wanted to share some of my thoughts. Well first of all, let me say that I was inspired to write this post by a dear friend of mine...one of my committed readers and an intelligent young woman. Don't be surprised if I quote her later in this post!

To start off, let me just say that my thoughts are all over the place because two family members have committed suicide, and I still get extremely upset thinking about it. There are times when I'm really angry at them for not seeking helping. I blame them for making everyone else suffer. After all, they're gone now, which leaves the rest of us heartbroken. But then there are other times when I get angry at everyone else...how could they not see there was a problem? Why didn't they reach out to help them through it? It just doesn't make sense.

And I know that no matter how often I think about everything, one thing hits me: they aren't coming back. I can't go back in time and change anything-on their end or on our end. So now what?

Well, as promised earlier, here's something my friend said to me while expressing her thoughts: "I was just thinking about tragic it is that so many young people consider suicide as an escape from all the problems they have and that they could all easily be avoidable if others were willing to listen or help out." As much as I don't believe that we can avoid every single tragedy, I do think that we can better the situation.

Here's a fact that I find mind-boggling: In 2010, there were on average 105.1 suicides per day. PER DAY. Can you imagine that? That's one medium-sized lecture hall full of people gone in ONE day. Just think about that for a moment. That's 1/6 of my high school graduating class just gone in ONE day. In six days, we'd all be gone. That's a ridiculously high number! What are we doing about that? Most of us are doing nothing. Whether we're on one end as people considering suicide or we're on the other end as friends and family who could be making a difference, most of us are doing nothing. We are simply letting life play itself out because we believe that we have absolutely no control over such statistics.

Well, that's not true. We can make a difference. There are so many things we can do, from becoming heavily involved with suicide prevention hotlines or simply making a stranger smile and perhaps making that person's day. Here are some ideas that I found online and have read about in the past many years. Some are simple, and some are not. You decide what you want to do, and you pass this on to other people so that we can continue making an even bigger difference.

• Smile at everyone you see no matter how you're feeling.
• Hold a door open for someone.
• Pay for someone's bill at a restaurant and leave a note saying "pay it forward". Who knows who else will continue it.
• Thank someone for doing their job (doctor, police officer, etc.).
• Volunteer (anywhere). Need some ideas? http://www.volunteermatch.org
• Hug people.
• Tell people you love that you love them. 
• Communicate with people. 
• Keep in touch with those that matter.

Anything more serious - 

• Listen to people. If you really think someone is suicidal, use resources such as http://www.helpguide.org/mental/suicide_prevention.htm
• Give people a second chance. 
• Talk to someone if you are feeling depressed.
• Don't be afraid to ask for help.
• Don't worry about others judging you.
• Call a suicide prevention hotline at 1-800-273-8255. 
• Work for a suicide prevention hotline.
• Urge people to seek professional help.

Overall, there are so many things you can do. Ask others and use the internet as a resource, but don't just sit around and do nothing.

A lot of you are probably asking why it's our responsibility to save someone else's life when that person has family, friends, neighbors, teachers and others that should be stepping in. And you're right. But why not make a difference when you can do so unknowingly? Here's one of my absolute favorite stories that I quote ALL of the time (and have probably blogged about as well). Since you've come this far, please read this story: http://www.snopes.com/glurge/kyle.asp

I have one more reason as to why we should all care. I'm sure most of you have watched Kid President's inspiring video about getting up and making a difference. Well there's one part that really got to me. In the beginning, he says: "If life is a game, aren't we all on the same team? I mean, really, right? I'm on your team. You're on my team."[Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=l-gQLqv9f4o#!] So if we're all on the same team, why wouldn't we help each other out? Let's start now...let's continue on forever. Who knows what difference we could make!

So long. <3