Stepmom 1

I recently saw the movie Stepmom again and jotted down a few scenes (this being one) that really struck me.
 
Dad "We love each other...We want to share our lives togethe.r"
Daughter "But you had a life with Mommy"
Dad "But we didn't get along...we argued a lot. That wouldn't be fair to you kids if we always argued."
Son "Anna and I argue all the time, can I move out?"
Dad "Noo you're brother and sister, you can't do that."
Daughter "But you were husband and wife..."

Wow, just look at that. What are some important relationships in our lives?

• Parent/child
• Siblings
• Relatives (Aunts, Uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc.)
• Spouses
• Friends
• Neighbors
• Employer/employee
• Co-workers

So now look at the list and pick out which ones you can easily give up and which you are in for life. It's pretty simple to me, although I know that values can be different. Personally, I say that parent/child, siblings, relatives (sometimes unfortunately) and spouses are relationships that you are in for life. [Friendship is controversial because some friends you know you'll have forever while others are just kind of there for the time being, but that's another idea for another day.] I understand that marriage is looked upon differently now. But let's take a step back.

Once upon a time, marriage was regarded as a binding relationship between two people who would embark on a journey together through thick and thin. Today, it's not such a big deal. People get married and divorced like it is nothing; therefore, that relationship is not taken to be so seriously. But enough about that, here's what I think.

Marriage is permanent. Nothing [absolutely nothing] should come in between two people that are together. You have to know that there are differences before you get married, and you have to be ready to accept changes afterwards. Gosh, I could go on forever about this but think about these simple things before you get married: can you deal with the dishes being in the sink? Do you need your bed to be made every morning? Will you get pissed if you have to take out the trash every day? ...well, if these things are gonna bother you in the future, then there's something wrong with you. There's no such thing as perfect! Everyone has to give and take when it comes to a lifelong relationship because if we make the little things matter, then we won't be able to stick together to work through the bigger issues.

(I haven't written in awhile, so there's absolutely no flow-I apologize.)

Back to the quote for a second, is it okay for this Father to send such a message to his children?! He is literally telling his children that a marriage is not a permanent relationship; therefore, they will not take it so seriously. If we start telling everyone this when they are young, then obviously marriage won't be so important in the future! I mean come on, it's already losing value. How much worse can we make it?!

I don't know what you think, but I know that even if I am afraid of any and every kind of commitment, I will not be able to end my marriage under any circumstances. And I think that before you do become committed to someone, you should really take out time to think about all of the details even if everything seems perfect in the beginning. Sigh. Your thoughts on marriage?

So long <3

Summer 2011

"I can't change the direction of the wind but I can always adjust my sails to reach my destination."

Ah, I apologize for not having written much this summer. But I'm back! Let's start with something simple. For a lot of us college students, summer 2011 has officially begin. Everyone else, you just have a few weeks left until summer starts so this is a good thing to talk about for all of us: goals.

So let's take a look at resolutions and goals that we've set in the past. Have we kept them? If yes, then wow-good for you! But personally speaking, the answer is generally no. Except for my soda sankalp, I haven't been able to stay steadfast with any resolutions, but this summer, that's about to change! [Or it has so far!]

First of all, set your goals. If you have time right now, think of what you want to accomplish this summer or do on a daily basis or whatever. I'll list mine out so that it triggers some ideas.

• Do suryanamaskar every day
• Work out every day 
• Read inspirational & developmental books* 
• Not eating out*
• *Everything starred has special conditions in case you hold me accountable in the future :p

That's just a few that I've been working on for the past week or two. So now that you've thought about what you want to do, list the reasons that you want to do it all. Because honestly, if you don't have a reason, then you won't be passionate; therefore, you'll easily give up your goals. While doing this, make sure that your goal is realistic. It's understandable that you might want to go run a legit marathon this summer, but if you've never been much of a runner...then it'll probably require a lot of training. If you don't have time for that, then you might want to set another running-oriented goal. So look back at your goals and see if they are achievable or not because here's one more reason: if you set high goals and aren't able to accomplish them, then you'll feel bad about it and that will discourage you from setting goals in the future...and you definitely don't want that!

Okay so now that our goals are set, how do we keep them this time around? Well a simple way is to have people be accountable for your goals. Have someone text you a few times a week asking if you've been doing what you're supposed to, or tell your parents! They're usually good at bugging you to do the right thing, haha. Another way is to write about them every day. This gets exhausting at times, and it's easy to stop writing one night if you're really tired but promise yourself not to sleep without jotting everything down quickly [it'll take 2 minutes] so that you can look back to see which days were peaks and which weren't. It'll motivate you to make more days successful!

Someone awesome once said: "willpower is like a muscle. The more you exercise it/work it, the stronger it gets." Maybe someone famous said something similar, but it was Akon who said it to all of us girls...and it's true. If we look at great people, they all had willpower. But as a lot of us discussed, they weren't just born with this willpower. They were able to use it in small scenarios, which eventually lead them to become strong, great people. We can't put off strengthening our willpower anymore...time is not going to wait for us.

So together, let's make this summer incredible and live up to our goals! Thus far, my summer has been incredible. I love it and I'm trying not to waste time (even though I do watch a lot of TV). I miss all of you! And hope that you're all doing spectacular things this summer.

So long <3

Cheating.

“The end justifies the means”

During senior year of high school, we fought the board of education because our salutatorian didn’t deserve to be honored as #2 in our class. She was a cheater, and we all knew it. Instead, another honest senior deserved to be ranked #2. As frustrated as I was that year, I thought to myself: college will be much better; my teachers always tell us stories about students being kicked out because they cheat.

But OH MY GOD, NO. It’s not any different. In reality, it’s even worse. Machiavelli clearly knew what he was saying. Seriously, I hear it all the time. So let’s take a step back…way back…and think about what he said. Do you really agree that the “end justifies the means”? I mean, why not? After all, who is actually going to sit there and look into your past to look at all of the small details that led up to the life that you’re actually living (or will be living). Think about it this way: do you think that the cheater or the honest student became the CEO of a company? Well, simply put: the cheater has the better grades. He probably had more positions on executive boards because he wasn’t busy studying for exams. And then he probably got a better internship than the honest student because of all of these reasons. Eventually, he cheated his way up there and now is living happily with his family, supporting them easily. And what happened to the honest guy? He’s still working his way up there…there’s a good chance he’s not even living his dream at the moment because he never ended up making that much money.

So then where does that leave us? What is our goal in life? Well, one of our goals is to be financially stable in order to maintain a family, right? So to reach that goal, are we supposed to be dishonest? Are we supposed to cheat our way up there? Is it okay to set up our desks so that we can easily look at each other students’ scrantons? Is it okay to pay someone to write our papers or do our homework?

And what exactly is your definition of cheating? Is helping someone on their homework cheating? How about taking someone’s answers because there are 5 minutes left before it’s due? Obviously glimpsing over at someone else’s test is cheating, but what about reusing your own paper? Or even portions of it? What about sucking up to a teacher so that he helps you more than he should on a paper?

Side note: why do professors suck at catching cheaters? Have they just stopped caring? If yes, what does that mean? They’ve lost hope in our generation…they don’t think it matters anymore. How sad. Honestly, I think that Rutgers should invest more money in hiring people to catch cheaters than using it for our football team (and I LOVE football). Even better: all professors should STOP texting, emailing, reading, etc. while their students are taking exams. I mean COME ON, you are getting PAID. Earn that money! Don’t just sit there. It makes me so furious! I lose all respect for that professor because they just seem…dumb.

Back to the topic: here’s my point of view: I HATE cheating. I HATE that I have so many friends that cheat. I wish I could just yell at them but I don’t have it in me. Instead, I just roll my eyes and continue with my life…I refuse to cheat on quizzes, exams, etc. I honestly rather fail than cheat-I just can’t do it. Yea…I definitely have looked at other students’ homework questions, but I’ve stopped doing it. I really rather not submit it than cheat because after all my research on corruption, I have a new theory that I’ll talk about later. Yes, India is extremely corrupt. But honestly, we aren’t much better here in America. Our corruption just comes in different forms, like cheating. And more than that, cheating will be the basis for worse corruption. Just wait and watch…we aren’t heading in a positive direction, and unless we stand up and fight for honesty and morality, we’re so screwed.

**I understand that this post is mainly questions…but I can’t really force you to think what I’m thinking. This is just a way to get your viewpoint on this topic, since we all come across it on a daily basis.

So long. <3

Birthday Note

I wrote this up on my birthday, and wanted to share it here for those of you that hadn't seen it!

So two hours into my birthday, I had the following thoughts: "Why do we make SUCH a huge deal out of birthdays? I mean seriously, it's not like we did anything to be born...we didn't even really have a choice, right? So, why do we wait anxiously until midnight to wish someone? Or why do we get upset when someone doesn't wish us? Or if they do it the 'wrong' way...via text instead of calling? Via FaceBook instead of texting? Why do we expect so much? Why do we care so much?"

So approximately 10 hours later, my Dada called and after wishing me a “happy birthday”, he then proceeded to say “sal mubarak” (a greeting used on New Year’s Day). I laughed, and questioned him, asking him why he’s saying that. His response was quite simple: “it’s personally a new year for you, and it’s always been every year after your birth…it’s probably more important for you than New Year’s.”

So now I’m sitting in Alexander thinking about all of these things. And I realize why birthdays are so important. Yes, birthdays are when we’re supposed to go out, have fun, cut cake, drink, celebrate, and just BE happy. But there’s so much more to a birthday than that! It’s the time to introspect. Look back at the year that just passed, and evaluate. Have you changed? Are you a better person? Are you a worse person? Are you happy? Have you accomplished anything? Look into the future, and see what should be different and what should stay the same. Jot it down. You know why? I bet you won’t remember half of this stuff in a year from now. Instead, you’ll believe that things today are the way you wanted them a year ago because you don’t want to admit that life isn’t going the way you want it to be. And hey, maybe I’m wrong, maybe you can look back and go “wow, this blows.” But not everyone can do that, so why not just jot it down? Or use the “email yourself in the future” feature they have online. It’s pretty neat.

I guess the things that I’m evaluating are too personal to just write to the world on FaceBook. But some random thoughts I’ve had can be shared because maybe you feel the same? Or have thought about these as well.

Expectations. Wow, do they kill a lot of spirit.
Friends. I keep in touch with one friend out of many that I was “tight” with at age 16.
Attitude. The more you smile, the better things seem.
Loyalty. Is there even such a thing?
“Best” friends. …seriously? What are we, two years old?
Forever. Is that possible? Can we be friends “forever”? I don’t think so.
Family. Blood doesn’t create relationships, we do.
Death. It really does come whenever the hell it wants to.
Back-stabbers. You probably don’t know that most of your friends are this.
Fraternities. LOL. I had to put this here. A year ago, I judged all frat boys. And now I see/talk to more of them than non-frat people. <3 They’re really good at heart, just give them a chance. So I apologize, sincerely apologize, for judging you. It's just sooo easy to do so when half the world does it. =/
Money. Wanting it makes you feel so materialistic, but there’s no denying that we all need it to make it through.
Changes. Hah, so much could be said. Though I HATE changes, I guess all I can do it accept them, smile and move on.
You know, while I’m at it, I might as well say something else that’s been on my mind. Coming to Rutgers seemed like an awesome idea at first…out-of-state college experience, how could it go wrong? But freshman year basically sucked, and I was expecting to transfer out of here by Spring 2011 and go back to Long Island. But wow, after this semester, I must say that I don’t think I could ever think about leaving. My girls…you are so amazing. You make every day so special, and I love you for it. ASC, I love us! We are so awesome this year. And because of you our amazing events and determination, I now have some awesome IND and DEPsi friends/acquaintances. I don’t want to name any cause then if I leave others out, they’ll think I’m picking favorites…but, Ankit, I must say: you know who my favorite is! Haha, that’s right – Jeev.

This semester in general has been so amazing! Although I only really keep in touch with Jess and Rishiface, they’re basically enough to keep me going <3 Dance girls I love you so so so much! I can’t wait to see you – SOOO much to tell you, you don’t even know! Next time we get together, we aren’t going to go around sharing everyone’s stories. Instead, I am going to talk THE WHOLE TIME haha. <3

I’m probably forgetting to write so much in here. But I guess I just needed to let some things outta my little head.

Anyway…I guess on the bright side: Yay, it’s my birthday, and I’m in Alexander. I’m making sure I don’t have babies during finals weeks. Because this is hell.

Random people are tagged because 1) I think they’ll care. 2) they’re mentioned in this 3) some of these thoughts were sparked by conversations we had 4) they tag me in their notes! If you would like to be un-tagged, then un-tag yourself. Nothing personal, I know J And if you would like to be tagged and you weren’t, then please tag yourself or let me know. Nothing personal, you should know. J

<3

Happy birthday to all of the following people:
Divyesh Dabhi, Reema, Radhi Patel, Jahnvi, Jayshree Aunty, Yash, Krishna, Alexandra, Aarti, Aakruti, Akash (IND), Rupal, KT, Brad Pitt & Christina Aguilera! Yes, I share a birthday with all of these people! I wish you all an amazing year, full of nothing but happiness & success! =)

Oh, P.S. This doesn't mean that I don't care about the text/FaceBook/call thing, I still do. It just means that I don't want to care about it. Maybe next year...